Oh, the utter hypocrisy!

You know I like my fruits and veg, right? I mean, if you’ve been reading my Vegas posts, you’ll see just how much produce goodness I consumed there, in the land of sin and gluttony. To say that fruits and vegetables are the cornerstones of a healthy diet is not an exaggeration. Plus, they’re delicious.

I hauled myself into the office today, partly because I was looking for and excuse to wear my new (to me) vintage red plaid Pendleton skirt I scored Sunday for a measly $2.50, but also because my office was having a holiday breakfast.

Anyway, I get into the office, and the head of our wellness committee is almost immediately saying “Eat! Eat! There’s eggs, and potatoes, and biscuits and gravy.”

“And fruit,” I say.

“Nooooo…no fruit. But there’s biscuits and gravy. And banana bread.”

I freeze, think for a moment before speaking, and then open my mouth: “This kind of thing drives me absolutely nuts. On the one hand [holding up fist for emphasis] we have this corporate wellness initiative. On other hand [up goes other fist] we have a big greasy breakfast with NO FRUIT. These two things [waving fists around to highlight the distance between them] are completely opposite. Total hypocrisy.”

The food was disgusting. It is exactly the type of food that helps contribute to the increased rates of overweight and obesity in my office and in this country. I was appalled.

People from my company’s Seattle location regularly beat out the competition when we have company-wide fitness challenges a time or two a year. I myself won one of these last year. But that’s mostly because we have a few individuals who are crazy for exercise, and log obscene amounts of steps and minutes (including yours truly). I think the rest of my office feels that potato chips are a vegetable.

One of my like-minded coworkers told me that he thought I was overreacting about the fruit thing, until he went to check out the food offerings.

“Jeezus H. Christ, that stuff will kill ya! I thought you were being a little whiny, but dang, there’s nothing edible in there at all.”

I rest my case.

As part of my ongoing efforts to create balance in the food universe, I got my veg on at lunch with one of my favorite salads from DeLaurenti down at Pike Place Market: Mixed greens in vinaigrette with dried cranberries, goat cheese, Mandarin oranges and pecans. Yummy!

I’m thinking of resigning from the company wellness committee in protest of this morning’s greasefest. Any opinions?